100th Blog Post!

Let’s do a State of the Dude-ion here for the 100th what da ya say?  Did you say Abide?  Good you’re learning.  So it’s been 5 months since Walter has touched down.  He struggling in school still but with three weeks left we are doing the minimum to get by.  The principal agrees it is what is best for him. The teacher does not but I’d listen to  her as closely as I listen to Fox News.

Walter had a major melt down after his visit this week.  He cried for hours that “he’s never been with his mom since he was a baby.”  It broke our hearts and all we could do was hug and empathize.  He told us he was horrible kid and that if he did just a little better his mommy would take him home.  I told him there is only one thing in this world I know for sure, 100% and that is that none of this is his fault.  He didn’t buy it but I told him he’d just have to trust us.  He ended up finally going to sleep past 2am.  Dudette did not take him into bed with her because that would be illegal.  I did not find him on my side when I came home from work.  He woke up in an amazingly good mood and his spirits have been high two days running.  We will enjoy it while we can because as hard as it is now, this is the easy part.  We need to tell him he’s not going to be seeing his mommy and sister anymore soon and I’m not quite sure how that is going to play out.  We having great counselors though and they are helping the whole way.  It’s like a hurricane.  We know it’s coming, we’ve secured the house now we just wait for the storm and see if we can stand it.

Walter has another court date in two weeks and unlike last time there will be no drama about telling him about it.  The kid loves court.  They give him pizza and teddy bears.  I don’t understand what they could possibly need with him again but I there’s nothing I can do but wait and see.  Dudette and I talked briefly about what would happen if he leaves.  I told her we’ll deal with that if we have to.  Whether he stays or goes our game plan is the same.  Love him, keep him safe and do right by him.

Abide.

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5 Responses to 100th Blog Post!

  1. Christina says:

    I wished I had foster parents like you when I was younger! Your great parents and always thinking of the right thing to do with Walter. I hope he knows how lucky he is and one day understands that being with both of you will be better than being with his mom and sister.

    • thedudedad says:

      Thank you so much Christina. If you don’t mind my asking what age did you enter the system? When you felt your lowest was there anything your foster parents could have said or done to help? What do you wish they said to you at 7 (if applicable) Thanks so much for reading. I’d love to get your thoughts and perspectives from the other side of this whole thing.

  2. Sarah says:

    Dude, glad to hear from you… It’s been a little quiet lately.

    You might now that we’ve been going through some of this grieving with our Grover, though on a smaller, younger scale. It is hard. I haven’t yet found the words that will really help my small son to understand why the people who should have loved him the most couldn’t keep him safe. I believe that listening helps. I believe that consistently being there helps. I guess we’ll have to see over time.

    But you are unquestionably doing the right thing to keep reminding him, over and over, that he is NOT a bad kid. That he is loveable and worthy of love. That this is not his fault in any way. You guys are terrific parents to Walter, before, during, and after all of the hurricanes.

  3. judy small says:

    HELLO DUD,IT WARMS MY HEART TO SEE FOSTER PARENTS LIKE YOU..I HAV 3 GRANBABIES IN THE SYSTEM,THEY BEEN THERE SENCE 2005,THE OLDEST BOT IS 11 NOW AN I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT HIM,THE STATE HE IS IN IS NOT GOOD AN ALOT OF BAD THINGS HAV HAPPENED TO KIDS IN THE SYSTEM THERE…I AM TAKING A CHANCE YOU WILL ACTULLY READ THIS AN IF SO PLEASE EMAIL ME or reply i filled out my email info please if you have any ideas that can help me,,i wish with all my heart from what i have read that my oldest granson was being raised by you…thank you for your time an may THE GOOD LORD BLESS YOU ALWAYS………………………………..

    • thedudedad says:

      Hello, thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate you reading my blog. I’d love to help you in someway but I honestly don’t know how I can. Do you talk to your grandkids or see them? If you do just constantly remind them none of this is their fault and love them hard. Look for reasons to praise them and let them know you’ll always be there for them. I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck.

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