These SW’s are bringing the demons out in me. They seriously are on a mission to see my head split down the middle spontaneously or at the very least see me run into traffic. Walter has to go see the judge and the BM’s lawyer in the judges in two weeks. They knew this three weeks ago but kept it from us. We found out from Walter’s lawyer via mail. She will now not return our calls.
SW tell us to ask Walter’s therapist to write a letter to the judge saying the meeting would harm Walter. We ask them to do that and they refuse. Say they never have or will write a letter like that. They say they are prepared to deal with the fallout from this happening. Fine. I accept that. Why are the SW’s asking for this if it’s something that isn’t done or common? I ask them they get pissy say trust me. I say but you have been dishonest with me and I get rolled eyes and puh-lease looks.
SW then tells me not to tell Walter about court until we are in route to the courthouse. I balk. Walter does not like surprises. I think we should give him a couple of days. SW basically tells me I’m a babysitter and to do my job and she knows best. Fuck you doll. You know shit. Therapist agree with me by the way.
SW again vaguely questioned whether I could handle the stress of foster-adoption. I think she is trying to spook me into silence over what she sees as trivial matters. What’s not a big deal to her unfortunately is a big deal to me and I would at least like to talk about it. If she’s going to take him from us because I insist we think before we act then fuck it. I’ll tell him when I’m shoving him through the door to speak with the judge.
Of course the monster under the bed for Dudette and I are we are terrified he will charm the judge and go back to mommy. We frankly don’t know what that is going to do to us. I spent the better part of the day crying. Alone! Thank god. Not on the bus again. Everyone assures us that won’t happen. By everyone I mean of course the people that just lied to us.