Advice. Fun!

I know most people are trying to help.  I know they have no way to truly appreciate our unique situation.  Some times it’s all I can do to put boots to asses.  I used to be a angry guy long ago.  I’ve always aspired to be funny.  I learned early on my dad liked to laugh and if I could do it then I was good.  That leaked over into my adult life and I tried my hand at Stand-Up comedy for many years.  I was funny but a terrible business man frankly and never quite got it all together.  What I did get good at was lighting quick responses and a level of sarcasm that can make your ears bleed if you piss me off.  Being an angry guy generated epic responses and consequences.  Since I quit comedy and anger I’ve done a fair amount of tongue biting.  I almost bit off my tongue this week.

I was speaking to a coworker about Walter and that I was proud of him.  My boss asked for what and I said controlling his temper.  The other day before bowling my wife and I were feeling silly and frankly were annoying Walter.  He started yelling and I asked him why he was mad and he said, “You guys are being silly and its making me mad cause I just want to go BOWLING!”  He then yelled, “Your up here,” holding his hand above his head and then lowered it to his belt and said, “I need you down here.”  I do this all the time so he got this from me.  Dudette and I did a miraculous job of not laughing our asses off.  I told him we’d quit being “silly” and would go bowling when he stopped yelling.  He did and we had a awesome day.

My boss says to me, “Sounds like you have a smartass on your hands to me, my dad would of grabbed me by the ear and smacked me upside the head to fix that.”

I smiled blankly and said, “We have special circumstances we are dealing with,” and desperately tried to convey with my eyes that I could give a fuck what he thought.  Here’s what I wanted to say:

“Sure Boss,  the difference being of course my kid has a legitimate reason to be upset and has lacked a proper influence to teach him how to constructively cope with his anger and impulse issues.  You were just being an asshole.  Oh, and I’m not your dad who frankly sounds like a dickhead.”


This entry was posted in Donny you're out of your element! and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Advice. Fun!

  1. Allison says:

    Not letting stuff get past my teeth has such positive consequences for my life! I love that you have used your blog to get things out–since I get to be a vicarious beneficiary. Sarcasm is completely lost on our kids and just hurts their feelings to the core. So, it’s nice to have a venue where irony is a useful means of communicating the humorous side of our otherwise trying situations.

  2. Allison says:

    I share your affliction.

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