Leap of something…

Little Walter got one word out of 17 right on last weeks spelling test.  Not surprised as last week had a visit and that riles him up something fierce.  He hadn’t study on the computer and his homework was barely touched.  It was a tough week.  When he realized he didn’t do well, he showed it to us proudly, he kind of lost his shit.  I told him to take it easy there’d be plenty of test to do better on and we kind of knew this one would be rough.  That seemed to do the trick.

I know he’s falling behind but with only being in our home for 8 weeks and transitioning to us permanently is SO much I don’t know how to help him improve in school without overwhelming him or hurting his already fragile ego.  He’s already so hard on himself and I know the hardest parts of the adoption process lie ahead.  I just don’t see consistently good homework and test scores coming out of him for possibly the remainder of this grade.  Strangely I’m kind of ok with it.  I feel like if we can finish the adoption by the end of summer and he can start school fresh at the beginning of the year that he is more than capable of catching up.  He’s a very smart kid and I believe in him.  I’m just picking my battles here for the moment.  My gut says I’m right but I still have doubts.

I don’t feel like I’m parenting or adopting.  I feel like I’m defusing a bomb.


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3 Responses to Leap of something…

  1. Nan says:

    I have been remiss in reading your blog lately. SO now I’m catching up, backwards. Little suggestion with the spelling words. Sing them while in the car or in the bath,making dinner etc. Dont ask him to sing, just sing, make it silly. He will copy you. Another thing is to see what kind of learner he is. Some kids can ‘see’ things in their heads with their eyes closed. Others need to touch stuff to absorb it and others needs to write things over and over. The school in its infinite wisdom believes ALL kids can learn by writing words 3 times each, but not ALL kids are the same. Walter might benefit from using scrabble tiles to form his words, or from closing his eyes and visualizing them. However I agree with you that this year isnt so important with all his changes. You’re a good dad.

    • thedudedad says:

      Bless you for the kind words and what you are saying makes a lot of sense. I need to remember we are all new to each other and still getting to know one another. We spoke to the teacher and she is easing up on the homework for him for now. Thanks again for reading and your support.

  2. Allison says:

    You are right on target in your thinking about school. My little guy can’t read very well or spell much of anything, at this point. I just tell him that he is very smart and that the more he works with his therapist, the easier it is going to get for him to read and spell. His little limbic system is so activated by all of his trauma that his cortex is getting shut down. How’s a kid whose cortex is shut down supposed to memorize spelling words? Funny thing is, the things that help him most in school aren’t the homework and classwork, but the propriaception excercises his therapist does with him. We do a lot of activities aimed at fundamental regulation. Those help his brain manage stress better, which helps keep his limbic system from activating and shutting down his cortex. Translated into mom and dad language, we do lots of rhythmic activities like walking, running, swinging, dancing, drumming, and always listen to his Vacation Bible School CD’s in the car on the way to school because they are rhythic and have lyrics that help him feel safer. I’m really tired of the CD’s but not tired at all of the effect they have on my kiddo. We also do spelling “cheers”: rhythmic spell-outs of the words on the list, complete with clapping and arm movements.

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