The Cracker…

Yesterday was touch and go all day.  None of us were connecting at all as opposed to previous day.  Dudette and Walter were going at it before I got out of bed.  I took him with me to sweep out the car and we got are hair cut.  I figured I was the good guy today so I’d just keep them separated for a bit and let their hearts grow fonder.  He and I went to the skate park and after some shopping the dudette joined us as we went to a new park for a bit.  It was a lazy day and after an hour at the new park Walter wanted to go to our normal park to play with friends.  We had nothing going on so off we went.  As I shifted into reverse I looked back and saw a peanut butter cracker sitting in his cup holder.  I grabbed it and threw it in my mouth.  Walter went from 0 to Vietnam.  I apologized but he was crying and staring out the window.  Now I’ve seen this kid break down and mean it and just be throwing a fit.  This breakdown was not about the cracker.  He let me know he wasn’t happy and didn’t talk to me for an hour and a half.  Some exercise at the park and some baseball seemed to bring him back.  I just dropped it but I won’t be grabbing snacks anymore.

This morning the routine went of with no drama.  When we got to school he was getting out and I told him I loved him and he told me to stop telling him that.  I’m pretty sure I should take it easy and not sweat that.  We probably have been telling him too much.  Right now I’d love to not feel like we are in transition and not faking this family thing.  Patience.


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4 Responses to The Cracker…

  1. Nan says:

    You never know with foster kids what happened to them in the past. Grabbing his cracker seemed to have triggered a bad memory and he was upset with the past and not with you. As he learns to trust you more he might exhibit these meltdowns more often because its safe for him to remember. Does that make sense?

    • thedudedad says:

      It makes perfect sense. I just apologized and empathized. He was mad for about an hour and a half before he moved on. Won’t be taking things without asking again. 🙂

  2. Allison says:

    Food can be a really weird thing with our kids. We have fossilized food squirrelled all over our house and cars. I run the dogs through every couple of days to try to get most of it into the garbage before it stinks. They are either trying to force me to eat part of their food by offering it over and over and over and putting it in my face, grabbing food off of my plate, which I don’t appreciate, or getting furious if I take a piece of popcorn out of a full bowl they thing is “theirs.” The safer they feel, the more they act out–up to a point. After a while, they act out less because their anxiety level goes down. But every time they get anxious over anything, the acting out starts right back up again.

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